Wishing I was there

I was definitely a poop head today. I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed? That's just a lame excuse for being a poop head. I woke up wanting to go to work because I needed something to keep me busy. And when I finally got to work, I was irritable within 5 minutes.. for no good reason. Ridiculous I tell you. After leaving work it was time to spend the evening with the fam. We had dinner in which Kelly and I ate most of it ourselves... or I did... and then watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. I was sooo tired during the movie and when it was over it was only 8:30pm. But that was prime Kari time. Ask any of my previous roommates and they will tell you that it's like a Kari variety show 8pm and on. I dance, I sing and more. If you're lucky enough... you just may experience it one day.

Today was the first dance competition of the season for my wonderful Jenison dancers. I was very excited for them, but then I was also extremely selfish and had an irritable attitude all day because I miss it. Those girls, that program, coaching, dance... has been my life for four years. And now it's not. It's weird. I don't regret my decision because I know this is where God wants me... but it's just weird. I guess I can't let go of it because one, I love those girls. They were my family for four years. Two, I feel like I'm not being productive with my time and using the talents God has given me. I love working hard and most of all I love being with people I care about and doing things for them... but right now everything is still somewhat new. I'm still figuring out people, friends, relationships, where my life is going... and when I have moments of uncertainty or feelings of worthlessness, it gets frustrating. But tomorrow is a new day and it's a day for me to glorify God... not myself.

And so now I sit here... awake... unable to sleep because I have issues. I will probably eat some food and then put an episode of Grey's Anatomy on so I can lay here and let my mind be still. It gets a little out of control at night time and GA can shut it all out so I eventually fall asleep. Hopefully I'll wake up on the right side of the bed (or couch) tomorrow so I can be non-poop head Kari again.