Wishing I was there

I was definitely a poop head today. I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed? That's just a lame excuse for being a poop head. I woke up wanting to go to work because I needed something to keep me busy. And when I finally got to work, I was irritable within 5 minutes.. for no good reason. Ridiculous I tell you. After leaving work it was time to spend the evening with the fam. We had dinner in which Kelly and I ate most of it ourselves... or I did... and then watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. I was sooo tired during the movie and when it was over it was only 8:30pm. But that was prime Kari time. Ask any of my previous roommates and they will tell you that it's like a Kari variety show 8pm and on. I dance, I sing and more. If you're lucky enough... you just may experience it one day.

Today was the first dance competition of the season for my wonderful Jenison dancers. I was very excited for them, but then I was also extremely selfish and had an irritable attitude all day because I miss it. Those girls, that program, coaching, dance... has been my life for four years. And now it's not. It's weird. I don't regret my decision because I know this is where God wants me... but it's just weird. I guess I can't let go of it because one, I love those girls. They were my family for four years. Two, I feel like I'm not being productive with my time and using the talents God has given me. I love working hard and most of all I love being with people I care about and doing things for them... but right now everything is still somewhat new. I'm still figuring out people, friends, relationships, where my life is going... and when I have moments of uncertainty or feelings of worthlessness, it gets frustrating. But tomorrow is a new day and it's a day for me to glorify God... not myself.

And so now I sit here... awake... unable to sleep because I have issues. I will probably eat some food and then put an episode of Grey's Anatomy on so I can lay here and let my mind be still. It gets a little out of control at night time and GA can shut it all out so I eventually fall asleep. Hopefully I'll wake up on the right side of the bed (or couch) tomorrow so I can be non-poop head Kari again.

Better late than never?

Well... I kept putting off an update because I felt like there was so much to say and I didn't want to type it all (or bore you all). Since it is 2:30am and I'm still not asleep, I figured now was the perfect time for an update. Most likely, I won't even say what was on my mind before but nevertheless you're getting an update.

Most importantly, I'm amazed at what God is showing me and teaching me. I always wanted to believe I was this genuine, dedicated, wonderful person... and don't get me wrong... there is some truth to that. But I'm overwhelmed by the realization that I'm also a selfish, prideful, lazy person. For the first time in a long time, or maybe ever, I was actually broken by my sin and in awe of what a forgiving, loving Father I have. These last several weeks have been eye opening and challenging to say the least.

Since I moved states and started this blog to keep you "updated" I figured I'd fill this entry with answers to all the typical questions I get at this stage in my life.
1. Where are you living? Why did you move?
I'm living in Wake Forest, North Carolina with mi madre. Yep, that's right. I'm 24 and I moved back in with mother dearest. I'm not ashamed. It's great to be able to spend time with the most amazing woman I know after being away for 6 years. I look forward to moving out again, but I'm grateful for this (rent free) time at home. I moved because I knew it was time for a change. As much as I loved my coaching job and the independence I had in Grand Rapids... I needed to be with family. It wasn't the easiest adjustment at first and I still miss parts of my "old life" but I'm loving this new "chapter."

2. Where are you working? What are you doing?
I am still working in coffee land at good ole Starbucks. At first I hated this question because I felt like that wasn't a good enough answer. But this is where God has me right now and that's good enough for me. This is just a tiny part in the big picture and I look forward to the next step. Are there days where I'm frustrated? Of course... but I know that God has given me talents and abilities and I'm excited to use them.

3. How's the love life? or lack there of...
Also another question I usually hate, but the answer is simple. I'm single and I'm okay with that. Again, this is where God has me and that's good enough for me. I know I sound like a broken record, but it's the truth. Sure, I'd love to fall in love... who wouldn't... but it's not my goal or focus. I'm enjoying getting to know new friends and when it happens... it happens.

Those are the 3 questions I get and those are my answers. Maybe I'll come up with some more Q&A for future posts. Feel free to ask and maybe I'll dish.